When One Partner Wants Counselling and the Other Doesn’t: What to Do
It’s common in relationships for one partner to feel ready for counselling while the other feels hesitant. Whether it’s couples counselling or family therapy, resistance doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed—it just means you need to approach the situation with care and understanding.
Why One Partner May Resist Counselling
Fear of being blamed: Some worry that therapy will highlight their faults.
Stigma or discomfort: Talking about personal struggles with a stranger can feel intimidating.
Belief it’s unnecessary: One partner may think problems can be solved without professional help.
Past experiences: A negative counselling experience in the past can create reluctance.
Understanding these reasons can help you approach the conversation with empathy.
Gentle Ways to Encourage Counselling
Share Your Perspective Calmly
Explain why you think counselling could help the relationship. Use “I” statements like “I feel stuck and need guidance” rather than “You need to change.”Focus on Growth, Not Blame
Emphasize that therapy is about building stronger communication and connection, not pointing fingers.Offer Options
Suggest starting with a single session, or consider online counselling for convenience and comfort.Lead by Example
If your partner isn’t ready, consider starting individual counselling. Many times, positive changes in one partner encourage the other to participate.
If They Still Say No
Counselling is most effective when both partners are willing, but you can still make progress on your own:
Learn healthy communication tools through individual therapy.
Model positive changes at home.
Respect your partner’s pace while maintaining your own boundaries and needs.
Final Thoughts
It’s natural for one partner to feel hesitant about counselling, but patience and compassion go a long way. By approaching the topic gently, offering flexible options, and focusing on shared goals, you can increase the chances of your partner eventually joining you in therapy.
Even if they don’t right away, taking steps for your own growth can benefit both you and your relationship.